There’s a Hero…

‘If u look inside your heart,
You don’t have to be afraid,
Of what you are,
There’s an answer...‘
– Mariah Carey(Hero)

Indeed there is! A hero inside every one of us. We either fail to acknowledge its presence or we get influenced and intimidated by our environment and various other things to even take a peek in and find it.

~~~~

This is a story, and this is mine. But the funny thing is, I don’t have a story to tell. I have had the most ordinary life anyone could imagine, with not many drastic ups and downs. I say drastic because like everyone else I have faced several unfortunate situations, be it the death of a parent(dad) at a fairly early age, abuse in a relationship, also at a fairly early age, failure, heartbreak, betrayal, worthlessness, acute financial crises, unemployment and so on. But everyone goes through all this and my circumstances weren’t any different. What was different was that I didn’t allow these situations to change me. Also, I was resilient enough to overcome all adversities without damaging myself. That is why I say, my life has been nothing but normal.

I was the last of five siblings, born into a big joint family of ten. Actually, I have a poem written on my childhood and family. Here it is if you’d like to read it… My poem. I had a modest upbringing in a small hill-town. I was a simple girl and so was everything else around.

After college, I lived my life on cross-roads; I went wherever my heart took me, and sometimes the need for a job took me to places. In the eleven years of my career, if I can call it that, I became a jack of all trades. I had stints in an NGO, call centres, a tour operators’ association; I was a teacher too for two years and in the last leg of those eleven years, I was a trainer in an MNC. I loved being one! Being in the training room and delivering whatever I had to and realizing that I was making a difference in my trainees’ lives in some way, gave me a high. I really really loved that! But, I hated the other aspects of my job – like the corporate politics that came with it, like having to keep my mouth shut and then being in deep shit if I opened it, like the bell curve rating system that I haven’t understood till now, like tolerating the nuances of my micro-managing, ‘I need to save my ass no matter what and be in the good books of the leadership’ bosses. Oh God! Please don’t make me go back to that world again, I seriously hated it, and that’s why when my elder daughter was two years old, I decided to quit!

So I quit, to stay at home and become a full-time mommy. I quit when our financial situation was quite bad, but we sailed through somehow and I continued to stay at home.

I was content!

I still am, and that by far is my greatest vice and virtue. I am content and I am also too laidback.

Being a mother to two wonderful girls and managing the house kept me busy for several years and since I had decided that I would dedicate myself to my childrens’ care until my younger daughter could go to play on her own, I mostly stayed home. But, as soon as she was able to tag along with her sister, I emerged like a dormant volcano.

Now, here’s the twist. A lot of us become ‘extinct’ at this stage in our lives. We kind of give in to the dull, sluggish monotony and do not shift the spotlight from our kids back to ourselves. I am thankful that I chose not to do that. I made a conscious decision to have a life outside my home.

My time to change course and focus on my passions came only in the second innings of my life… after I turned forty! I refused to get caught in the humdrum at that age. On the contrary, the opposite happened! Doing the many things that I had never done before gave me the much needed kickstart to renew my journey.

So for all the women out there who have hit mid-life and who feel hopeless and think that their lives are over, read on and think again.

I ran and completed my first Pinkathon 5K at forty. I joined my first kitty party group at forty. I became a core member of our residential society’s charity group at forty. I made several new friends at forty some of whom are now my friends for life. I started partying late nights at forty. I danced on stage after ages at forty. I shed my inhibitions and started to sing(recreational) at forty. I, along with my bestie, participated in and won a cooking competition at forty. I enrolled into a driving school after forty. I smoked my first joint after forty😛🤫. I joined a fitness class and became a health and fitness enthusiast after forty. I donned a bikini(for the first time) and posed for pictures like a model after forty. I wore braces after forty (there were so many people who’d ask me, “How come at this age?”). I started blogging after forty. I fearlessly did bungee jumping after forty. To fulfill a ‘once in a lifetime’ wish, I did bangs(hair) and surprised the whole world with my new look after forty. Heck! I even wore my first red lipstick after forty!

Unbelievable? Believe it!
And as clichéd as it may sound, ‘Life does begin at 40!’… albeit, only if you let it!

Then again, and it should be true for everybody, there’s still…

‘Miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.’
– Robert Frost

💙💙💙

This blog post is a part of the blog challenge ‘Blogaberry Dazzle’ hosted by Cindy D’Silva and Noor Anand Chawla in collaboration with Mads’ Cookhouse.

Also…

This post is a part of “Her Journey” Blog Hop hosted by Manali Desai and Sukaina Majeed