‘Atithi Devo Bhawa’

My daughter is quite sub standard in hindi, so last week she was struggling to write a speech on the topic, ‘The significance of “Atithi devo bhawa” in the modern Indian context.’ I am worse, therefore I was of no help, but my niece wrote it in her best possible ‘unadorned’ vocabulary. When I read her perspective, I decided to share mine… in English ofcourse!

‘Atithi Devo Bhawa’ or ‘A guest is akin to God!’ is one cultural practice that most of us have grown up witnessing.

Back in the days when telephones were rare, guests turned up at our doorsteps unannounced, at any time of the day. The women of the house immediately immersed themselves in the task of welcoming them, cooking for them, serving them… all with a smile on their faces. As children, we had no idea how much they toiled behind all this. We just saw the guests being made comfortable, well fed and well taken care of.

So that day, what my niece had written made me ponder(something like, ‘These days, Atithi devo bhawa is no longer relevant as no one really cares for guests. Just giving them good food, taking them around isn’t enough, you have to talk to them and spend time with them which doesn’t happen.’). Although giving food and taking them around are not ‘just’😛, that’s her perspective! But that aside (and I am thankful that she wrote something for my daughter) my thoughts on the topic at hand are a little different.

‘Atithi devo bhawa’ worked well when most women were ‘housewives,’ and they didn’t have a say. They had to do what the head of the family wanted them to. So when a guest(the kind who sleep in the house overninght and longer) turned up, they did what was expected of them… all the hard work! while the other members of the family entertained the guests. I don’t know how much these women liked having guests or if they even got to interact with them at all or if anyone asked them how they felt. But, the motive was served, the guests felt welcome!

The same scenario in today’s world – nuclear families; working women who kind of have a say; guests! Although I am sure everyone tries to make their guests feel welcome and comfortable(it is in our psyche), going all out isn’t possible because of our lifestyles. In my opinion, guests should also lend a helping hand unlike in the olden days where they just sat and sat and sat. If the guests are proactive, they talk, help a bit and make things easy in the household, they will be more than welcome. Don’t you think so?

On the other hand and this extremity occurs too; I have had quite a few ‘bad host experiences’ where I haven’t even been offered tea/coffee even though I have stayed in the house for a couple of hours. In my hometown, that is unheard of! We offer tea to everyone who comes to our doorstep, strangers or known people alike. So when this happened to me for the first time, I was in shock and couldn’t stop harping about it! After a couple of instances, I stopped expecting😀. The small town bred that I am, I always thought it was basic courtesy to offer a beverage to a guest.

That’s another reason why, when I have guests, I try my best to make them feel at home(that must be true for all of us as we’ve been brought up that way). If the guests offer to help, I feel very happy and although I may not even let them do anything, just their willingness makes all the difference to me. Also, when I am a guest, I like to be helpful. It is not a means to impress anyone or anything of that sort… it is a natural instinct.

A funny reminiscence: It was my friend’s son’s 1st birthday party. I helped her MIL with the after party cleaning in the kitchen and she was mighty impressed. She told her son that I was very helpful. So he told me, “Why did u do that? She is pressurizing her daughter-in-law now!”… hahaha!

Coming back to the topic, in today’s world, I don’t think it is fair for guests to expect ‘Godly treatment’ anymore, as every person, every household, every place and every circumstance is different. Also, practically, the host is human and so is the guest… and at the end of the day, what both parties want and need is a little respect, kindness and empathy.

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Art by Aarna Yonzon

Do you agree with my view? Will be happy to hear your thoughts on this.

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This blog post is a part of the blog challenge ‘Blogaberry Dazzle’
hosted by Cindy D’Silva and Noor Anand Chawla
in collaboration with Monidipa Dutta.

In the Cold June Rain

[Fiction]

There are some days when words are few,
So I turn a page to write something new.

To refresh my senses I take a sip from my cup, 
But after the first swig, I just can’t stop!

Brewed in the hills with tender care,
Packaged with purity amid fragrant air,

The near hot liquid almost filled to the brim,
Is ecstasy alone, with no sugar or cream.

The fragrance aromatic and simply divine,
Like mountain water, infused with herbs fine.

Golden colour like liquor, of the choicest type,
And a heavenly taste that needs no hype.

Not able to withhold, I take a big gulp,
Of pure ‘Darjeeling,’ from my almost empty cup!

~°~°~°~°~

Evening walk in the gardens 😍

~°~°~°~°~

This blog post is a part of the blog challenge ‘Blogaberry Dazzle’
hosted by Cindy D’Silva and Noor Anand Chawla
in collaboration with Monidipa Dutta.

His Incomplete Story…

[Fiction]

“Sometimes it takes a lifetime to fall in love and sometimes it happens in an instant. Mine was the latter!” Saying this, my uncle closed the book he was reading and kept it aside.

He was visiting me for the first time and he made it a point to tell me stories every night, over green tea, after dinner. His life stories! I was curious(the way he began) to hear it all, so I coaxed him to continue. He looked at me with a distinctive gleam in his eyes and an almost boyish smile on his face and started again…

“It was a fine summer day many years ago. I was on a trip to Vaishnodevi with some of my friends; colleagues you can say; we were from the same unit. We were all young, maybe 19 or 20 years old, still the thought of walking up all the way exhausted us even before we started.

A little ahead of us were many people, the ones who come on group tours in big buses. We scanned them briefly and focused on ourselves. While the other boys got back to readying themselves for the walk, my eyes didn’t leave that group.

There, among this conventional crowd of people was the prettiest face I’d ever seen. I just couldn’t take my eyes off her! She would’ve sensed it, as she turned towards me and our eyes met, and right there, in that moment, I fell in love!

A nudge from my friend brought me back to reality. We had to start walking. I smiled thinking that what seemed like an impossible task only minutes ago was going to be the best walk of my life! Throughout the journey we were looking at each other; her flawless cheeks would occasionally get tinted when I caught her looking at me. She would pretend to look elsewhere but we both knew what she was upto.

I was drawn to her exquisite allure like a magnet. She was strikingly beautiful; tall and slim with a glowing complexion, expressive eyes, pretty face and budding youth… quite like a dream. It was suffocating to control my urge to approach her and strike a conversation. The crowd was huge, so for most of the ascent we lost each other. I also had a feeling that her parents sensed the vibes and intentionally avoided being around the boys and me. However, I saw her during the descent. They were riding on mules. Naturally, they reached down much before us but since they were in a group, they had to wait for the rest to return.

She boarded the bus, and at that time, the ‘now or never,’ feeling engulfed me so much that I managed to find a piece of paper and a pen, write my name and address on it, walk to the bus and hand it over to her, somehow dodging her parents… phew! My heart was pounding against my chest and if not for the chatter around, it would be audible. She was as nervous as hell and she gestured to me asking what it was. I was exhilarated, edgy, mesmerised… and mute! So, without saying a word, I gave the paper to her and walked away… ofcourse with an accomplished smile on my face and hope in my heart that she would write to me.

But, she never did and I never saw her again!

I was desolate and forlorn for several days. I wasn’t able to get over her easily. Strange that though we didn’t even speak a word that day, what we experienced was unforgettable – the attraction and spark instant and the chemistry extraordinary; the kind that only occurs once in a lifetime!

Sometimes, when I look back, I wonder why she didn’t write to me. Perhaps, she got confused by what was on the paper. It was all numbers and some jargon. While giving it to her, I didn’t think for a second that she may not understand that I was in the armed forces and that was my postal address. I tell myself that this would’ve been the only reason. It is a consolation of sorts, but I don’t think beyond that. I only think about her face, her smile, our fleeting romance and that fine summer day many years ago.”

With these words, he lay back on the couch and closed his eyes, wearing the same boyish smile on his face. And I… well, I was deeply touched and moved by his love story. It had ended before it even started.

For a long time after(and even now), in my heart of hearts, I wished I could find her and bring them together one day, just once… to complete his love story…  but how?

I wish I knew!

💕💕💕💕

Art by Aarna Yonzon

💕💕💕💕

This blog post is a part of the blog challenge ‘Blogaberry Dazzle’
hosted by Cindy D’Silva and Noor Anand Chawla
in collaboration with Zariya Healings.

Walks, Talks, Samosas and Sherry

I stood there watching the rays of the morning sun penetrate the cluster of pine trees and bring light and life into the sombreness. The sight and sounds of the woods awakened by the dazzling beams of the sunlight was enchanting. I realized just how much I miss the little wonders of nature in my everyday city life.

Whenever I am in my hometown in April and May, I make it a point to go on weekend morning walks with Sherry. (No, I didn’t mean the drink in the title😜). Sherry is my bestie! She and I go back a long way and although we studied together since kindergarten we became close only in our first year of college. That is still over two decades of solid, steadfast friendship… touchwood!

Darjeeling wakes up to brightness quite early. 4:30a.m. in spring feels like broad daylight. During our walk weekends, I usually start from home at 6 in the morning, take a lift and reach town in five minutes as there is no traffic, meet her and then we start walking.

We walk and talk and talk and walk…. mostly just the two of us when we take the isolated, forbidden paths and trails that she has discovered in her daily walks, or sometimes in common places with the whole town – runners and joggers and strollers and all.

The tranquility of the early morning interrupted only by the chirping and hooting of birds and the crunching of dry leaves under our feet; the calm and serene hills around, the morning sun sending shafts of light through the jungle… endless beauty and bliss! It is no wonder that we get lost in our conversation as well as in nature, so much, that we don’t even realize how much we walk. Last year, we once walked six hours at a stretch. When I reached home, my mum said, “I thought you would come back after dinner”😛

Listen to the sounds

We talk about everything under the sun on our walks. We introspect, retrospect, discuss, debate and occasionally gossip. Our weekend ritual is good for our minds as well as our hearts… and our unsophisticated palates too!

Wondering how?… We get back to town after the endless walk and add back all the calories that we may have possibly burned by binging on hot samosas, aloo puri, chhole bhature, jalebis and tea or coffee at two local joints, either Kanhaiyalal or Beni’s Cafe or even both sometimes.
So much for early morning cardio!🤭

Now that I am back in Bangalore, I often think about the great time we have. I miss the place, the walks, the talks, the samosas, and I miss Sherry.

Morning ‘sun-kissed’ us☺️

‘Sometimes just spending some quality time with good friends is the only therapy you need.’ – Anonymous

Well, isn’t that true!

🍃🍃🍃🍃

This blog post is a part of the blog challenge ‘Blogaberry Dazzle’
hosted by Cindy D’Silva and Noor Anand Chawla
in collaboration with Zariya Healings.